"I Was Told I Couldn't,        

 But I Found I CAN!"

"If you know the way, show it to others".

 

(written by Cheryl Gnad - as a Living Tribute to Joyce Thompson) 

To Live, is to Live AS IF .....

A few months ago I came across Joyce on my Facebook site. We had initially met about the time she was growing her Psycho-Therapy / Family&Marriage Counseling business and we were at a networking event. We knew of each other in the business world. I knew that 2011 was a tough year for Joyce and had kept an eye on her posts. A few weeks ago, she had sent out a call for prayers again, for herself instead of for her family members. I reached out to say that I was praying for her and to ask if she might be able to answer a question that I had. She bettered that offer and said "let's get together for coffee". So we did. We met for the first time as friends but in reality, we had become friends a long time ago through watching each other's posts on Facebook. Now her story unfolds here. I wanted to share it with you because it shows her strength to live "AS IF" - as if her life were not finished, as if she had others to take care of, as if she was smart enough, as if ... God had a better plan for her!


Some "beginnings" just shouldn't be "beginnings".

Joyce begins her story at the time she begins life. Life amongst sadness and struggle.

"I was born on July 17, 1958. My parents had lost a baby boy the year before, due to Spinal Meningitis. Both parents were very depressed, and didn’t really want another baby. But a well-meaning Navy Chaplin told them to have another child, so they would ‘forget’ the baby which died. It turned out to be a bad idea. To top it all off, my father insisted they name me after his younger sister, who had died as an 8-year old child, from Leukemia. This just couldn’t have been a wise idea. Both parents were severely depressed, and so my life got off to a very rocky and traumatic start. When I was 1 ½ years old, my parents divorced. In 1959, my mom, older sister, and I went to live with my maternal grandparents. We lived there for about 3 years, before Mom remarried. Those were the very best days of my childhood. We were poor, but I didn’t know that…I just knew there was LOTS of love in the house!"

Joyce, her sister and cousins Easter 1968

Eighth Grade Graduation 1972

After many years Joyce watched her family try to grow together only to disintegrate once again because of her mom's failed marriage, and bouts of depression. As soon as Joyce could count on her fingers to 18, she knew that the age of 18 was her date of "freedom". 

"On July 17, 1976, I turned 18, and already had an apartment waiting to move into. My mom was crushed, but I wanted my freedom. The ‘freedom’ wasn’t quite what I had counted on. I married six months later, thinking that would bring me happiness. Then, I had my one and only child, 4 years later. I just knew that would bring me happiness, but the happiness didn’t last. Depression set in within the next few years." 

Joyce continued to live the life that was demonstrated since her childhood; one of 2 divorces and continuous depression. She did seek out help and finally found a therapist that understood the life of "trauma and attachment difficulties" stemming from abuse, depression and low self-esteem. She was always told that she couldn't go to college because she "wasn't smart enough". Because of her therapist she found out that it didn't matter if someone said she couldn't, she learned that "she could". So she did.

"...during this time, that I found a therapist skilled in trauma and attachment difficulties that could help me in resolving my long-standing abuse issues. Jan was my therapists name and she saved my life and ‘gave’ me the life I had been seeking for so many years. She had had an abusive past too, and had found a way to a healthier way of being through the help of her therapist from long ago. I greatly admired Jan, and felt that I’d like to be a therapist like her one day, who could help others with similar pasts to find happiness and contentment."

Sept. 27, 2003 Joyce and Jeff married. "We planned many, many happy years together, after finally finding our soul mates, within each other!"

"... they only gave me 2 years to live...I was DEVASTATED!"

Living on her own with her child for 8 years, she thought she had given up on the thought of remarriage. Her life takes another turn, and she finds her blessing, her current husband Jeff Thompson. Joyce met Jeff on 02/02/02. He became her best friend.. Her joy was short-lived,  3 weeks later, she was diagnosed with  2 terminal diagnoses; Systemic Scleroderma and and then shortly thereafter with Pulmonary Artery Hypertension and she writes,  

 "they only gave me 2 years to live...I was DEVASTATED! I couldn’t understand how God would finally allow me to meet a guy that I could love, only to have me die two years later!"

 

She found Jeff to be completely devoted to her and wouldn't run away from her in her time of need. They married on Sept. 27, 2003. After several doctor visits and with the doctors not sure what her health issues actually were, their verdict was that they were wrong with her diagnosis. Joyce and Jim were ecstatic! "We planned many, many happy years together, after finally finding our soul mates, within each other!"

Associates Degree! 2004

Being married to Jeff finally began a healing in Joyce that in 2002, she initiated something she was always told she couldn't do - go to college. Again, she said "I Can!" She wanted to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. From August 2002 and June 2007 she earned not just one degree but three degrees! Associates, Bachelors, and Masters and quickly opened up her own private practice.    

 

I CAN! AND I DID!

Induction 2004

 

 "I then opened up a private practice where I could help clients not only from an academic perspective, but in using my personal experiences from over the many years, to help guide me and my clients along the way with their own abandonment and attachment issues.  My clients have often told me they could tell that I ‘got it’ and I do.  Everyone's experiences are different, but those who have struggled with childhood and adult abuse issues have many similarities in how they have been impacted.  Many years ago, I saw a sign at a corner gas station.  It read, "If you know the way, show it to others".  Somehow, I knew that sign was meant for me, although I had no idea of how, what, where, when, or why!  When I opened my practice in July of 2007, I knew that slogan was meant to be a part of my logo and it still is, to this day!" 

For the next two years life was on-going and pleasant, they were "living as if" they could live happily ever after. Joyce and Jeff lived and worked, until 2009, when Jeff suddenly began losing his eyesight. Joyce, also found that she was growing more and more tired and achy. Jeff is found to have a very rare form of MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and was robbing his sight, and causing him seizures. They took trips to the Mayo Clinic to find help, but since his MS was so rare, treatment was mostly unsuccessful.  

"Our world changed forever on that day. Over the next few months, I watched him quickly deteriorate, physically, cognitively, and emotionally. It was heart-breaking to say the least. His last day of work was September 11, 2009. He could no longer drive. I took him to the hospital on that day. They couldn’t get to the source of his health problems and sent him home. He continued to deteriorate until he began having seizures in late January, 2010. The doctors still didn’t know what was wrong."

Joyce and Jeff Easter 2012

Today Jeff is still struggling with his MS type symptoms. The medications are helping with his quality of life, but he is still deteriorating and because of the medications affecting his immune system he will mostly likely die of cancer, as others with the same disease have. Joyce then began needing to take care of both Jeff and your aging mother and grandmother, and during that same year almost lost Jeff to pneumonia too. Joyce has been giving and giving, to her family and to her clients. 

Earlier this year, Joyce was having severe enough back pain to warrant the possibility of surgery and was going in for tests. In the process the doctors found another problem. Not exactly a new one, but the old ones raised their "ugly heads" again.

"I was first seen at Dr. Galichia’s office on Feb. 13^th and was suddenly and unexpectedly placed on oxygen.  I had exercise-induced Hypoxemia…I learned that I was seriously ill! After TONS of tests, I learned on March 22nd that I have Systemic Scleroderma, which is now attacking my Pulmonary System. So I also have Pulmonary Artery Hypertension, Interstitial Lung Disease, and Sleep Apnea.  Systemic Scleroderma is a Connective Tissue disease. It causes over-production of the collagen in the body, which causes thickening and scarring of cell tissue. Over time, each of my organs will harden and I will die from the disease.  The Systemic Scleroderma has already begun attacking my lungs and entire Pulmonary System.  I often have heart pain.  They are monitoring for heart damage, which will occur over time…As the Pulmonary Artery works harder and harder to pump blood from my heart and lungs to the rest of my body, it will literally thicken the Pulmonary Artery, which will place undue pressure and stress on my heart.  This then makes the heart work harder; to pump the blood through my system.  Eventually the heart will get ‘tired’ and I will incur right and left-sided heart failure."

"Nobody told me I was supposed to die, so I just kept on a’livin'!!"

"The three diseases are terminal. After reviewing my health history, my Pulmonologist, Dr. Eldika feels the disease process began 15 years ago! In 2002, the doctors gave me 2 terminal diagnoses; Systemic Scleroderma and Pulmonary Artery Hypertension and they only gave me 2 years to live...They later decided they were wrong on both counts. Well, my current Pulmonologist says he feels that I've had those diseases every since 2002! He feels from past diagnoses I've gotten over the years, that the process actually began 15 years ago!! Well nobody told me I was supposed to die, so I just kept on a’livin'!! I am now relieved that I have the diagnoses, so I can take new RX medications to slow the process and to actually give me a better quality of living!  Dr. Eldika is SOOOO positive, it’s contagious!!  So I feel ‘safe’ with him!  Plus, Dr. Galichia, my Cardiologist, is SO supportive and is doing everything he can to help…He’s even agreed to do what he can to help me with fund raising!  We now have a plan, and it makes such a HUGE difference!!" 

A final comment from Cheryl.

Joyce's story goes on from here. She has the spirit of "I Was Told I Couldn't, But I Found I CAN!"  and so goes forward with hope. Many of my friends in recent years have come from a meeting - first on social media, then face to face. I am honored to be Joyce's friend and to be available with the this gift of helping her cause via social media. Her spirit of        "I CAN" is contagious, so allow yourself to become infected with her spirit of hope!

 Please follow this link for information on how to help Joyce. They have used up all of their savings and retirement money to help Jeff and have nothing to help herself. The community of Wichita, her business friends, and her personal friends are stepping up to help raise money for her treatments that she so DESPERATELY needs. Her life depends on them. 

Please consider offering a donation or participating at the fund raising events. She will tell you "I appreciate all or anything that you do for me, with all my heart". She gives from her heart - still, we just want to give something back. Follow this link --

 http://www.facebook.com/groups/284068581683885/